


Unrequited

by Angelinee



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst day, F/M, For skam month
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 20:05:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11676150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelinee/pseuds/Angelinee
Summary: Sana takes a deep breath and before she can talk herself out of it she blurts it out."I like you."





	Unrequited

Sana sits at the kitchen table, earphones in as she stares blankly at the book in front of her. Studying isn't exactly going very well today. Instead, her laptop is full of at least ten different tabs that have nothing to do with biology.

"Halla." Yousef says but Sana doesn't hear him. She barely even sees him enter the room. 

Sana looks up startled and quickly pulls her earphones out, "Sorry, What did you say?" 

Yousef smiles before repeating himself. 

Sana gives him a slight smile, "Halla." 

"Elias wants to know if you'll make tea." 

Sana almost lets her smile drop in disappointment. He hadn't wanted to talk to her instead he had just been coming to relay a message from Elias. 

She thinks about snapping at him to tell Elias to make his own tea. But then Yousef smiles at her, and she means that bright blinding smile where the world stops for a full minute just to observe, kind of smile. 

"Uh yeah I guess." She says, putting the pen that was in her hand down on the table.

She pushes her textbook a little to the side. His smile falters when his eyes fall to the table like he's only just now seeing Sana's books sprawled across it.

"You're studying" The way he says it isn't in the form of a question, instead its more of a statement with somewhat of a forgetful tone. 

She only nods. 

Yousef shakes his head, "You're busy, I'll make the tea." 

"No, really it's fi-" Sana starts but is interrupted by Yousef. 

"You're busy, i-" 

"But you're the guest an-"

"I'm hardly a gues-" 

"N-"

"I-" 

They both stop talking at the same time. As if they both somehow knew that their constant interrupting was getting them nowhere. They just stop and smile at one another before laughing.

"I'll make the tea." He assures her. 

Sana nods and smiles at him. She surprises even herself at the fact that she's allowed him to do so. Usually she doesn't let anyone do things for her. 

He moves to get the kettle out from one of the cupboards.

"So what are you studying?" He asks.

Sana lets out a sigh, "Biology. I have an exam coming up." 

Yousef glances at her quickly, "I was always terrible at biology." He explains as he fills the kettle with water. 

Sana lets out a hum, "I'm alright at it." 

It's as if Yousef can see right through that because he sets the kettle on the stove and turns back to her. 

"I bet you're amazing at biology. You're the smartest Bakkoush after all." He assures her and again with that smile. Had it always been that bright?

Sana catches his eyes and for a few seconds she can't pull away. Because his eyes are just as intense his smile. Dark brown and full of this light, she could stare into his eyes for her entire life and it still wouldn't be enough. 

After a few solid seconds of mentally describing Yousef's eyes she finally snaps out of it. 

"Well it's not like I have much competition." She says easily. 

Yousef lets out a laugh and goes through the cabinet to get the tea but they aren't in their usual spot. 

Sana stands up to get them from the opposite side of the kitchen. They just recently moved it, something about how it made more sense to put the tea closer to the stove. 

She holds the box up and waves it at him, "We moved it."

He lets out a slight laugh before lightly taking the box out of her hand. She smiles at him, taking a mental note at how his fingers linger. Their fingertips just barely touch when he grabs the small box from her but its still there. 

That tiny, tiny touch makes her feel alive, it makes her feel things that she knows she's never felt before. That she knows she might never feel again.

Sana quickly shakes herself out of her trance and moves to the left to get the mugs out of the cupboard. 

Yousef is leaning against the counter, looking at her. He doesn't even bother looking away when she meets his eyes with a questioning look. 

_What are you looking at?_

_You._

It's non-verbal. To anyone else those would've just been looks, nothing more and nothing less. But with one single look they could have an entire conversation. 

The only thing that it couldn't convey was how much they felt for one another. That was something that they had to speak about. But at this point it seemed they never would.

She sets the mugs on the counter next to him and he says a quick thanks. 

Sana leans against the counter and scrutinizes him. She wonders what a future like this would be like. She has a quick glimpse at the future where he cooks dinner and she pretends that she's actually helping him. Where she comes home to him asking how her day is. A future where they're married and Sana is happy. 

****

Sana's with the girls, sitting on the bench outside of school. She knows that this time could've been used for studying but that was nowhere near as much fun as being with her best friends.

But she's not even listening to the conversation. No, she's texting Yousef which means that she's also thinking about the strand of hair that always falls into his face and those brown eyes that hold her own with such an intensity every single time they met.

"Right, Sana?" 

"Sana?" 

"Sana." 

"Sana!" 

Her name is repeated several time before Sana actually hears anything. 

Sana looks up from her phone finally, "Huh?" 

Vilde looks at her a little irritated. 

Noora only smirks, "Who are you texting?" 

"No one." Sana rushes out. 

"No one? You were smiling way too much at your phone!" Eva exclaims. 

Sana shakes her head, "No I wasn't." 

Chris laughs, "Yeah you were." 

"Who are you texting?" Vilde asks, leaning in closer to Sana. 

Sana narrows her eyes at her friends,"Fine." 

"Ahh who is it?" Noora asks. 

Sana sighs, "Yousef." 

"Your brothers friend?" 

Sana nods. 

"I knew it!" Noora almost yells. 

"How could you possibly know?" 

"Girl, you two were totally giving each other eyes at Eva's party." Chris says with a laugh. 

"We were not!" Sana defends herself. 

"You kind of were." Eva says and the other girls nod in agreement. 

"So is it a thing yet?" Vilde asks. 

Sana hesitates, she doesn't even know if this is something that she's comfortable sharing. But these are her best friends and she has been trying to be more open. 

"No." 

"Why not?" Eva asks her incredulously. 

"I don't even know if he likes me." Sana says. 

It's true. While some of the signs had been there it still had yet to be confirmed. And Sana wasn't the type of person to make the first move. She would wait until she was sure.

"Are you kidding?" Noora says

"Of course he likes you!" Eva exclaims. 

"He fucking loves you!" Chris yells. 

"Everyone likes you." 

Sana thinks about arguing it but decides against it. Her friends encouraged her and maybe that was all she needed, just a bit of encouragement. 

So instead she smiles, "Thanks." 

****

They're walking along the streets. Honestly, Sana has no idea where they're going. They don't have a destination really. All they want is to spend time together. 

They've been doing this a lot lately. Thinking of ways to spend time together until finally Yousef just decided to message her. The first time she thought it was a date but it hadn't been. 

He would've told her if it was a date. 

But the thing is that all the signs have been there, right? The girls had told her that he liked her, Chris had even gone as far as to say that he loved her. Sana wanted so much for that to be true, she liked him a lot and she knows that she could easily love him. She thought that she was already falling in love with him.

The only thing keep her from being with him was that she was unsure. They had so many obstacles with her being believer and Yousef not being one. She was also worried about her brother, what if it didn't work out between her and Yousef? She didn't want her brother to lose his best friend. 

But she couldn't keep doing this. 

Not when he's going on about something cute that a kid at the kindergarten had done today and all she's looking at is the way that his hair frames his face and admiring the way that the light hits him as they walk. 

He looks breath-taking. 

Sana takes a deep breath and before she can talk herself out of it she blurts it out. 

"I like you."

Her eyes go wide as she realizes what she just said. She doesn't do this sort of thing. She waits, she lays out all the options and plans. Sana always, always thinks things through. But whenever she's around Yousef it's harder to think and now this is her consequence.

He doesn't say anything. Only blinks at her, mouth slightly agape in resemblance to a fish. The end of his story is long gone and he stops right in his tracks, causing a few people to give them looks as they stop right in the middle of the sidewalk. 

"Yousef?" Sana asks somewhat unsure. 

Maybe she was wrong. 

She was wrong. 

He doesn't like her the way that she likes him. To him she's just a friend if even that. She could even just be the sibling of one of his closest friends. She didn't really mean anything to him, did she? 

"I-i-" 

Sana can literally feel her heart beat getting quicker and quicker. He doesn't like her. He doesn't like her. 

"I misread this, didn't I?" She asks but she thinks that she already knows the answer.

"No, Sana I-" Yousef tries to explain. 

"You don't like me that way." Sana says trying to give him an out.

"You're Elias' little sister and-" 

She nods in understanding, "That's all you'll ever see me as?" 

He nods and she thinks that she might throw up. It's either that or die of embarassment. 

She never did things like this. She never, ever put her feelings on the line like this. It was so easy to get hurt and all it had done to her was make matters worse. 

"I have to go now." She says, her facial expression quickly changing to mask her feelings. 

She just wants to leave. She wants to go home, close her bedroom door and burst into tears. She wants to be left alone. 

"Let me walk you home." Yousef says, lightly grabbing her wrist as she tries to move past him.

What was wrong with him? Why would he grab her wrist like this if he doesn't like her? Why can't he just let her stomp off in embarassment? Why does her skin burn where he touches it? 

"No." Sana says quickly. 

"It's no problem." Yousef insists. 

"I can walk by myself." Sana says with an edge to her voice. Why won't he just leave her alone? 

"Sana-" He tries.

"Just leave me alone, okay?" She snaps at him before walking quickly off into the other direction. 

She wants to look back, wants so badly to look at him one last time. And maybe she should have because if she had looked back she would've saw it. 

She would've saw Yousef beating himself up for being so incredibly stupid. For rejecting the girl that he was so certain was his soulmate all because he didn't want to compromise his friendship or her religion.

****

It takes months for her to see Yousef after that. It's much easier to avoid him than Sana had originally thought. School already kept her fairly busy and now she just spent more time sitting in coffee shops or hiding out in her room.

It had been easier because Yousef seemed to be avoiding the house as well. She would see her brother's friends around the house but each time it would be without Yousef. 

Sana supposed that he was simply just following what she had said. He was leaving her alone. That was what she had wanted, she just wanted him to leave her alone after everything that had happened. 

That moment was burned into her brain. She replays it every few minutes, each time making her feel even worse. She drew different conclusions each time. 

She knew that she was going to have to see him eventually but even now seemed too soon. 

Sana had quietly walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water. She heard her brother's friends but she figured that Yousef wasn't with them, he never was anymore. 

She grabbed her glass and was almost put of the kitchen when he comes barreling in. He knocks right into her, sending water spilling right onto both of them.

"Fuck, sorry." Yousef says, going over to the sink to grab a towel.

He hands it to Sana, who instead of using it to dry herself, uses it to clean the water that landed on the floor. She can just change her shirt later. 

Yousef takes the now empty glass to the sink and fills another glass for her. He hands it to her when she's done cleaning the ground and she thanks him. 

Yousef looks hesitant, "How are you?" 

Sana purses her lips and puts on her guarded face, "Fine." She says, trying her best to sound nonchalant.

Yousef nods, "That's good." 

Sana doesn't say anything, only looks at him. She wishes that she didn't feel the same way about him that she felt months ago. She wishes that when she looked at him now she didn't feel warm anymore. Shouldn't it have faded? 

Why did he still have this special place in her heart? 

She opens her mouth to talk but closes it because what really is there to talk about. They haven't spoken in months and Sana really would like to keep it that way. He doesn't feel that way about her and she just needs the space to get over him. 

"I miss y-" Yousef starts but is interrupted. 

"Yousef! Your girlfriend is calling." Adam taunts as he walks into the kitchen, waving around Yousef's phone and making kissing noises. 

Yousef glances at Sana and she swears that she sees guilt in his eyes. Of course he has a girlfriend. That was why he wasn't hanging out with the boys that much anymore. It wasn't because he was respecting Sana's request.

She told him how she felt about him and he rejected her. All she was to him was his best friend's little sister. That's all she would ever be.

"It's fine. I'll talk to you later." Sana assures him with the wave of her hand. 

She would never talk to him again if she had it her way. She thinks that she could've loved him, thought that he was it, that he was her soulmate. But he's not and he never was

**Author's Note:**

> I also posted this on my [tumblr](http://fvckinbitter.tumblr.com/)


End file.
